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Demetri Martin

· 26 kata bijak

Perjuangan

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.

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Kepemimpinan

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

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Cinta

Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.

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Waktu

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

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Waktu

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

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Kejujuran

I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!

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