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Mitch Hedberg
M
Mitch Hedberg
· 25 kata bijak
M
Mitch Hedberg
Humor
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Sukses
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Persahabatan
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Motivasi
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Humor
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Waktu
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Seni
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kreativitas
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
M
Mitch Hedberg
Kehidupan
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
👍
📋 Salin
💬 WA
🖼 Gambar
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