S

Steven Wright

· 35 kata bijak

Kehidupan

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

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Kehidupan

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

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Sukses

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'

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Kehidupan

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

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Kreativitas

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

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Pendidikan

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

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Kreativitas

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

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Kehidupan

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

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Waktu

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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Waktu

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

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Waktu

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

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Waktu

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

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Waktu

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

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Kehidupan

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

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Waktu

“Right now Iâ€™m having amnesia and dÃ©jÃ vu at the same time. I think Iâ€™ve forgotten this before.”

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