R

Rita Rudner

· 26 kata bijak

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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

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My Vegas act is how I make my money.

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

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