E

Elayne Boosler

· 12 kata bijak

Kehidupan

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

🖼 Gambar

Kehidupan

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

🖼 Gambar

Kreativitas

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

🖼 Gambar

Kehidupan

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

🖼 Gambar

Kehidupan

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

🖼 Gambar

Kehidupan

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

🖼 Gambar

Kreativitas

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

🖼 Gambar

Kreativitas

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

🖼 Gambar

Kehidupan

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

🖼 Gambar

Keluarga

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

🖼 Gambar

Sukses

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

🖼 Gambar

Kreativitas

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

🖼 Gambar