D

David Sedaris

· 13 kata bijak

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After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

Kehidupan

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It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

Kehidupan

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I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

Kehidupan

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My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

Kehidupan

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I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

Kehidupan

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What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

Kehidupan

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I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

Kehidupan

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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

Kehidupan

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When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.

Kehidupan

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I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.

Kehidupan

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But most good movies have a gun in them.

Kehidupan

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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

Kehidupan

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“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”

Kehidupan